My Sidekick and Me: Your Dog’s Space

By Lisa Desatnik, CPDT-KA, FFCP, FDM, CPBC–Pet Behavior Columnist

It is so easy to find photos of a young child laying on top of her family dog while he is sleeping.  Sometimes adults may even encourage it for the sake of a photo. 

Is this a good thing to encourage?

My answer to that question: No, it is not okay for your child to lay on, jump on, pull on or even invade your dog’s space when your dog is resting or sleeping. (Actually, those are not okay behaviors at any time.) That is your dog’s private time to be left alone. Invading on that quiet time is not welcome or appreciated. 

Imagine a time when you want to escape by closing yourself off into a dark bathroom, filling your bathtub with bubbles, enjoying a glass of wine and listening to soothing meditation music to enhance the ambiance. You are stressed or exhausted and that private time is precious. How would you feel if your child suddenly bolted through the door, made loud noise, ran around and even splashed some of those bubbles around? I bet you would not be too happy. 

Just like you, your dog wants that quiet, peaceful time too. He wants and deserves to feel safe in his spot. If that does not happen, he may begin to not feel safe closing his eyes in the quiet spot or even being in the same space as your child who has a history of invading his personal space. 

I’ve seen that time and again when a dog exhibits a variety of stress signals just being in the vicinity of a child or children. Of course, there can be and often are other reasons for this discomfort too, but a child invading a dog’s private space is one of them. 

A few more considerations:

Restraint can often be uncomfortable and unpleasant. Dogs that are restrained can feel trapped too. An important line of defense – the ability to move away or escape – is taken away. This makes other means for increasing distance more likely such as growling, snarling or worse. 

Your dog (especially if it is older) may have body parts that are extra sensitive. Being touched or having pressure applied to those areas could be painful to your dog and that could cause your dog to react in a bigger way. It could cause your dog to feel more protective too of someone coming close to those body parts in anticipation of possible pain.

There is a thing that can happen with some dogs called sleep startle reflex. For these dogs, if they are awoken suddenly, in that split second, they can reflexively growl, snap, lunge or even bite. This definitely is not a safe time or place for your child. 

As a parent, what are you to do about this with your dog and child?

Know that it is not enough to just tell your small child NOT to lay on, pull on, or invade your dog’s private space. Very young children simply do not have the ability to refrain from that impulsivity. Management is very important. ALWAYS actively supervise any time your dog and your young child are in the same room together, and ALWAYS take positive steps to redirect BEFORE there is a problem. Gates (double gates if needed to keep little hands away) can be hugely helpful in keeping everyone at safe distances. 

Know that you are constantly modeling behaviors for your child. If you hug or lay on your dog or invade your dog’s space when your dog is resting (or any other time), then it is understandable that your child will follow. Social learning is a powerful way of teaching that often is unintended. 

Please do not encourage your child to be invasive to your dog for the sake of a photo. A much better idea would be to have your child sit beside your dog (if your dog is comfortable with that) or have someone take a photo of you in between your child and dog. 

Give your dog a private space that is away from the busyness of kids’ activities and keep that space off limits to your child. 

Lisa Desatnik, CPDT-KA, FFCP, FDM, CPBC, is a certified dog trainer, a certified dog bite prevention educator, a certified Family Dog Mediator, and the first trainer in Hamilton County to earn Fear Free certification. She is also a licensed Family Paws Parent Educator. She is committed to using and teaching the most positive, science-based approaches to changing behavior. For more information, visit www.SoMuchPETential.com.