Be Happy That You Don’t Have All the Answers

By Julie Isphording

You’re not wrong for feeling like you don’t have it all figured out—that’s just not reality. Life doesn’t work that way. Life is supposed to be challenging, confusing, heartbreaking, and breathtaking. It’s really supposed to be a string of lessons, memories, and adventures. 

At the end of the day, we’re all searching, learning, and discovering who and where and what our lives are meant to be. And this is good.

Everyone is doing the best they can while experiencing dramatic change and uncertainty every day; and, when they can do better, they will. And this is good too.

If you knew everything, then you wouldn’t experience all the surprises of life—REAL life. It would be methodical, lifeless, and boring. Life wouldn’t have the ups and downs. Life wouldn’t make us cry. Life wouldn’t make us laugh, and life wouldn’t shape us into outrageously wonderful people.

What is the one failure that will haunt you for life?

First, there’s no shame in any failure. It is something that proves we are alive, we showed up, we tried difficult things. Something that allows us to learn more about who we are. However, there’s one thing that you will struggle to make peace with—that’s the failure to live a life that truly reflects your heart and soul where you use all your talents, and to be irrevocably human.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung

Why do bad things happen to good people? 

There’s just no explanation — or justice — for the pain that some people must endure. But a more accurate statement would be “bad things happen to all people.”

I can’t think of anyone who gets through the length of their life without disappointment and, yes, failure too — often of epic proportions. The challenge is not to let the bad experiences erode our heart, define our lives, or make a commentary on who we are. 

 What are ten ways to say “bravo?”

Telling someone that they are right doesn’t make you wrong. Nor does it show a sign of weakness or incompetence:

• You are absolutely right.
• Can I quote you on this one?
• Is that so?
• I wish I had said that.
• Stop. You just said something brilliant.
• It’s so true.
• You were correct. Once more!
• I like the way you put it.
• You’ve hit the nail on the head.
• Would you mind repeating what you just said? I’d like to write it down.

What are some daily habits that waste nearly all our time and potential? 

• Changing nothing and expecting different results.

If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Have the courage to bet on your ideas, take healthy risks, and try harder.

• Waiting for the right time.

We forget that good paths are formed by moving, not standing still. Think of today as the beginning. Go! Now!

• Believing that good things come fast and easy.

Decades from now, you will not remember the times that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your struggles and found the strength within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.

• Refusing to accept necessary risks.

Living is about learning as you go. Living is a risky business. With every decision, every interaction, and every step, you take a small risk. To truly live is to trust yourself to take it. 

• Making the rejections of yesterday the focal point of today.

Be okay with walking away when the time comes. It won’t always be easy, but some seasons in our lives must close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what is meant to stay broken.

• Refusing to take responsibility.

A combination of your decisions and external factors—for which you had no control—brought you to where you are today. Negatively blaming someone else, or past circumstances, will change nothing. Taking full responsibility for the next step forward can change everything. 

• Closing your mind to innovative ideas and perspectives.

Remember that success in life does not depend on always being right. To make real progress try to let go of assumptions.

• Allowing negative people continuously distract you.

Carefully guard your personal boundaries. Be careful what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

• Holding tight to something that’s not meant to be.

Sometimes you have to seriously sit down with yourself and understand that you were wrong about something all along. The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting it go, and moving forward. 

• Maintaining rigid expectations. 

Simple things become complicated when you expect too much. A mistake doesn’t hurt, expectation does. A rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does. And so, it goes…

One of the most important moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change because, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything…

Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and keynote speaker. Her speeches on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com.