Life is Out There — Live It!

by Julie Isphording

Life is but a series of fleeting moments, one forever chasing the next. 

Although we wish we could have it all figured out at once, there is no such thing as having it all figured out. So just go ahead and live life with a childlike sense of adventure. Experience your life as an unbroken series of loving and leaving, of gaining and losing, of coming and going, of searching and finding, of forgetting and remembering, and of hurting and forgiving.

Over and over again.

We learn our lessons and then we unlearn them all; and then, we start all over again. Oh, the places we go — one day we are knocked to our knees and within the week we are running a 10k. 

Because the truth is, there is no such thing as a finished person. As much as we want to have it all figured out and get “there,” it’s the not-having-things-figured-out that keeps life fun, challenging and exciting. 

Life is lopsided; and so are we. It’s not about being flawed or broken. It’s about being grateful for the ability to fill our life with hope and faith and purpose — the kind of purpose that pushes us forward. 

And the kind of purpose that might make us the happiest. 

What are some ways to train your brain to be happy?

Happy people don’t have the best of everything. They make the best of everything. Be happy first. 

• Three walks a week (minimum)

Research indicates that the more physically active we are, the greater our general feelings of excitement and enthusiasm. How much? Just half an hour of brisk walking three times a week can reduce depression, improve sleep, and make us happier. Of course, more is better.

• Writing for 20 minutes about a positive experience 

You actually relive the experience as you’re writing it, and then relive it every time you read it. This helps us remember things we like about the people and the experiences in our lives.

• Random acts of kindness

Carrying out five random acts of kindness a week can improve our happiness. We don’t naturally think about paying for someone’s coffee, mowing our neighbor’s lawn or writing a thank you note, but it makes us feel good about ourselves and can lighten someone’s day. 

• Unplug

“The richest, happiest and most productive lives are characterized by the ability to fully engage in the challenge at hand, but also to disengage periodically and seek renewal,” says Jim Loehr in The Power of Full Engagement.

• Find your flow 

When you’re completely absorbed with what you’re doing, it means you’re being challenged and using your talents at the same time. Many describe this moment as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” Time flies. 

• Two-minute meditations

Studies report that meditation can “permanently rewire” your brain to raise levels of happiness. Too edgy for you? It can’t hurt. Try downloading an app or attending a class on the basics of meditation. 

• Gratitude journal  

If you can be happy with simple things, then it will be simple to be happy. Write down three to five things you’re grateful for each day. Charles Dickens voiced this well: “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

Why do we fail?

• Lack of persistence.

“People generally fail not because they lack knowledge or skill, but because they give up or give in,” says John Barrett CEO of Western & Southern. “It’s important to have a healthy persistence — persist in what must be done by making adjustments, midcourse corrections, and relying on your experience as a guide.”  

• Lack of passion.

“Decide what is important to you,” says Fred Cernetisch with Pella. “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right and doing well — even the small mundane tasks. Let your passion, confidence and courage show. It’s good to collaborate and cooperate for success, but it’s never right to compromise your values.”

• Excuses.

“An excuse is used to avoid responsibility. When we shift the blame, we avoid responsibility for a failure, and we also avoid the responsibility for learning from that failure,” says Ann Marie Braker, chief HR officer at ProAmpac. “Most of us attain our goals only through repeated effort. It’s best to learn everything you can about what happened and more importantly, why it happened.”  

• Lack of discipline.

“Discipline is key. It requires self-control, sacrifice, and the ability to resist distractions and temptations,” says Peter Frey from Prolink. “Without the discipline to maintain focus, motivation and confidence, you are bound to fail.”

• Poor self-esteem.

“Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth,” says Barrett. “People with low self-confidence are constantly trying to find themselves rather than creating the person they want to be. You might have failed, but you’re not a failure until you stop trying.”  

• Fatalistic attitude.

“If someone has a fatalistic attitude toward a situation, chances are that means the person is expecting things to turn out bad all the time,” says Cernetisch. “They resign themselves to their fate, regardless of their efforts, and assume they have no control over their life.” 

What makes people live happier and longer lives?

According to the world’s longest study of human development, the people who were happiest, who stayed the healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people. In fact, good relationships were the strongest predictor of who was going to be happy and healthy as they grew old.Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and loves to keynote speak. Her talks on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com.