Sometimes It Only Takes One Person to Change Your Life

by Julie Isphording

We have hundreds — if not thousands — of relationships in our lives, both big and small, challenging and heart-stopping, casual and serious. Each one teaches us something about life and how to live it well. 

Every person who walks into our life can make it a little brighter, teach us something special or maybe just super-inspire us when life takes the life right out of us.

Sometimes it only takes one person to change our life. One to be there for us, to push us, to believe in us, to make us better. 

Sometimes it takes way more than one to get us through those tougher-than-tough times. 

Life is designed to challenge the human soul, but thankfully it is also designed to be lived together with each other. And there will always — ALWAYS — be someone to pick us up when we fall, or maybe just lay down beside us and listen.

What are 27 ways to be a good person?

• Be kind to someone. 

Not only do kind acts help others, but they also help us, too. 

• Reframe a problem as a challenge. 

It’s not so much what happens to us that determines our peace of mind but how we react to it. By treating setbacks as tests and by changing how we think about adversity, we can change how we deal with it. 

• Understand what depends on you. 

The chief task in life is to separate what is within our control from what isn’t. We control our opinions, intentions and aspirations. Ensure most of the focus remains on making good choices in those areas.

• Face fear. 

Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acting despite fear. Facing fears, a little at a time, provides a sense of purpose in the short term. In the long term, it reduces the number of things of which you are afraid.

• Protect your character. 

You can develop good character by being consistently good. It takes practice. You can only be harmed if you allow your character to be harmed.

• Ask “Is this necessary?” 

Most of what we say and do isn’t essential. We waste valuable time on frivolous things when we could be pursuing what gives us purpose. 

• Examine judgments. 

It isn’t things, events and people that disturb us, it’s our judgments about them. When a judgment quickly arises, objectively put it to the test and determine its accuracy.

• Say less, listen more, do more. 

We shouldn’t be constantly talking about the kind of people we are. We should be showing our character through our actions. Can you listen more than you speak today? Can you show people who you are rather than tell them?

• Align your words and actions. 

You may be saying less and doing more as per the previous point, but your good character is only proven if those two are always in harmony.

• Let go of a past regret. 

Freedom from ruminating on a past event comes when you learn the embedded lessons from it. 

• Plan for the future. 

Plan for what you can but remember that the ability to tackle unexpected difficulties with a calm mind can be as valuable as good preparation.

• Count your blessings. 

This classic cliché is the simplest of gratitude exercises, but when was the last time you actually did it?

• Improve a little. 

As long as you live, keep learning how to live. A better version of yourself can improve both your life and the lives of others.

• Reject perfection. 

No one has it all figured out. Everyone makes mistakes. All you can do is try your best to make as few as possible and to learn from the ones you do make.

• Live in the present. 

The past concerns you no more. The future concerns you not yet. Embrace now, which is often much more bearable than the pain we’re trying to run away from.

• Treat today as a new life. 

“Begin at once to live,” wrote Seneca, “and count each separate day as a separate life.” Restart daily and fit in all those meaningful things that will leave you fulfilled at the end of it.

• Cut out bad people. 

Keep company with wise, fun and honest people who make you a better person.

• Read. 

Books are the training weights of the mind. Without an understanding of the theory, there is nothing to inform a philosophical practice.

• Be rational about what others think. 

If you believe in something, if it’s the right thing to do, do it. What others will say shouldn’t matter. And anyhow, most people are far more concerned with what they’re doing than what you are.

• Stop postponing. 

In trying to master tomorrow, we lose today. Procrastination postpones happiness. What small step can you take today toward the life you’ve always wanted?

• Expect Fate. 

Fate visits whenever it wants to. To free yourself from its grip, expect its arrival, accept what happens and adapt to its consequences.

• Pause. 

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. A short pause before reacting can work wonders.

• Love what happens. 

Whatever happens, assume that it was bound to happen. This is not an attitude of passivity, but one of accepting those things that can’t be changed so you can focus on the things that can.

• Be a friend to yourself. 

Support yourself. Be strict with yourself without ever being abusive. Review your mistakes but forgive yourself. Make the good choices today that you’ll thank yourself for tomorrow.

• Take a walk. 

Breaks are essential for the mind to regain its sharpness. Seneca advised taking walks to refresh and raise our spirits.

• Don’t add a second story to suffering. 

Do not exaggerate problems or imagine them where none exist. 

• Be good. 

To be good, we need to do good. This means using wisdom, courage, justice and moderation to guide our actions. 

Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and loves to keynote speak. Her talks on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com.