It’s always bumpy at the start

By Julie Isphording

If you’re trying something new — from simple tasks to daring and challenging ones — remember that it’s always bumpy at the start. 

There are no exceptions. 

Starting something new — career, relationship, haircut, hobby, exercise — will always bring disruption, trials and fears. It’s the human condition. Please don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. 

You’re only human. 

Humans have a great preference for things that are familiar and safe. Humans are often afraid of the unknown. Familiar things are more comfortable and easier, while trying new things requires significant effort, courage and faith. 

It doesn’t mean that you’re incapable. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It does mean that you might fail — not just once, but a few times. It does mean that you might be surprised, happy, humbled and joyful. 

You’re only human.

So be human — not just once, but all the time — and let yourself feel, grow and live. You want to experience those bumps, and then look back at them and feel an overwhelming sense of joy at what you have learned, how much you have grown, and especially, how much you have lived. 

What are some daily habits that waste nearly all our time and potential?

• Changing nothing and expecting different results.

“If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting,” said John Barrett, CEO of Western & Southern. “Have the courage to bet on your ideas, take healthy risks and try harder.”

• Refusing to take responsibility.

“Embracing responsibility involves recognizing the impact of both your decisions and external factors, even those beyond your control,” said Ann Marie Braker, chief human resources officer at ProAmpac. “Rather than placing blame on others or past circumstances, consider taking full ownership of your next steps. Doing so has the potential to change everything.”

• Believing that good things come fast and easy.

“Decades from now, you will not remember the times that were easy,” said Todd Steinbrink, CFP with Wealth Planning Corp, a 40-year-old company. “You will cherish the moments when you rose above your struggles and found the strength within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.”

• Making the rejections of yesterday the focal point of today.

“Be okay with walking away when the time comes. It won’t always be easy, but some seasons in our lives must close without closure,” said Alvin Roehr, CEO of Roehr Insurance. “There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what is meant to stay broken.”

• Waiting for the right time.

“Life keeps moving forward whether we make a decision or not,” said Josh Werthaiser, CFO of Downlite. “If you’ve been putting off making a big decision in your life because you’re waiting for the perfect conditions — the perfect moment — think about why you are really waiting and choose to move forward instead.”

• Maintaining rigid expectations. 

“Life becomes more complex when our expectations aren’t flexible,” said Braker. “Mistakes themselves don’t cause pain; our expectations do. Similarly, rejections aren’t inherently hurtful — it’s the expectations we attach to them. Ultimately, one of life’s most important moments is when we find the courage to release what we cannot change.”

• Refusing to accept necessary risks.

“Living is about learning as you go,” said Barrett. “Living is a risky business. With every decision, every interaction and every step, you take a small risk. To truly live is to trust yourself to take it.” 

• Allowing negative people to continuously distract you.

“Carefully guard your personal boundaries. Be careful what you allow yourself to absorb from others,” said Steinbrink.

• Closing your mind to innovative ideas and perspectives.

“Remember that success in life does not depend on always being right,” said Barrett. “To make real progress try to let go of assumptions.”

• Holding on tight to something that’s not meant to be.

“Sometimes you have to seriously sit down with yourself and understand that you were wrong about something all along,” said Roehr. “The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting it go and moving forward.” 

What’s a straightforward way to end any argument? 

There are three words that can diffuse a big disagreement: “You’re probably right.”

“Those three words are incredibly powerful. They are the perfect way to end a discussion that’s not going anywhere,” said John Barrett, CEO of Western & Southern. “When you find yourself in disagreement with someone — who is not interested in listening to a different point of view — it’s the best way to end things and walk away.”

“When you say, ‘you’re probably right,’ it gives you some power in the situation,” said Alvin Roehr, CEO of the Roehr Agency. “There’s also just enough ambiguity in the statement to make them feel as if they’re right, even though you haven’t truly admitted that. And there’s no real comeback to the statement.”

What is the best way to apologize?

“A good apology consists of conveying the three Rs: regret — genuine empathy for the other person, responsibility — not blaming someone else, and remedy — your willingness to fix it,” said John Barrett, CEO of W&S. “Apologize quickly, specifically and sincerely. Don’t ruin an apology with an excuse.”

Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and loves to keynote speak. Her talks on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com