You Can’t Control the Length of Your Life, Just the Depth

By Julie Isphording

I know you have big, beautiful, audacious, exhilarating, dangerous, wicked-impossible dreams you keep tucked away.

Well, un-tuck them.

Chasing dreams is more fun than fun. I makes life an adventure—your adventure.

It seems that we put those dreams on hold all the time. We think it’s too soon, too late. It’s too hard. It’s too crazy. We even think we’re crazy. We spend so much of our lives trying to follow all the “rules” that we forget to give our dreams a chance—to give ourselves a chance.

However, sometimes all we have to do is show up each day, and to have believe that something amazing is possible every day. It’s about living boldly and bravely—a life well-lived.

The power to make things happen for us is not anywhere “out there”—it is always deep inside of us. Find something deep within that is truly you and cling to it with passion and power.

The moment we have been waiting for doesn’t require waiting. Live deep.

. Why is the word ‘yet’ so powerful?

Simply adding the word yet to all your statements makes you feel better about your potential and about the future. Try it— “I’m not a healthy eater, yet.”  “I’m not spectacular at pickleball yet.”  “I don’t have a lot of technical expertise yet.”

These simple statements about you can change your beliefs about yourself, your abilities, and your future. Try some more— “I haven’t taken that great vacation yet.” “I’m not a great runner yet.”

This little exercise may inspire you to think of possibilities and open your world to wonderful adventures because it means your skills are not static, and you can change and learn again and again. 

What are some philosophical thoughts on living a good life?

• “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus

We can’t control markets or weather or traffic or the behavior of strangers. But we can always control how we respond, and history’s best understood that is what matters most — that it’s not what happens, but our response, that determines our directions, our results, and our lives.

• “A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We are as happy as we make up our minds to be is a famous quote from Abraham Lincoln. Money, career success, they play a role to be sure, but things can only take us so far. There is an internal aspect, and it is this: to give yourself permission to be happy.

• “Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds.” — Marcus Aurelius

Listening is a powerful skill. As Epictetus said, we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. To stand apart from the majority, we must become good listeners and selective speakers. There is power in saying less.

• “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Kindness is the mark of a great spirit, a sincere heart, and is a trait seen by philosophy as a strength rather than a weakness. Not false kindness, but the true, strong, heartfelt kindness that gives and asks for nothing in return.

• “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” — Epictetus

A humble person is the one who accepts their limits and seeks not to be right, but simply truthful, vulnerable, and open. On the other hand, someone who thinks they know it all, who believes that he is so educated that he does not need to be taught, is not fun to be around.

• “Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” — Marcus Aurelius

Asking for help takes strength. Being honest with yourself and others, to know when you are in over your head. It takes a certain amount of humility to admit this, but it is also an act of strength

• “If you wished to be loved, love.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A life without love is incomplete and hollow. Possessions, success, power, fame — it all falls short, if you are in it alone. Happy, successful people are filled with love for others and are not afraid to show it.

What three things should you do before bed to fall asleep easier?

• Stay off social media (and out of arguments). 

Strong feelings get us more charged up than strong coffee. So, avoid anything that will rile you up emotionally. That means saving contentious conversations for the morning and staying off social media.

• Grab a book. 

Reading before bed is popular for a reason. It doesn’t involve a lot of visual stimulation, it’s not social, and it doesn’t require much light. This combination of qualities makes a book an ideal sleep aid. 

• Schedule empty time into your evening

We need time to process and reflect on our days so our brains can quiet down, even if it’s just ten minutes of walking the dog or folding the laundry. Skip this essential step in the evening, and your mind will be racing too fast to get to sleep. 

­­­­­­­Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and loves to keynote speak. Her talks on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com.