Becoming Good at Something: A Love-Hate Story

By Julie Isphording

It’s always shocking—and a little humbling—to realize how hard it is to get good at something, even when you really want it badly. You go in with so much energy, enthusiasm, and lofty expectations—thinking your effort alone should carry you—only to run straight into the awkwardness, the failure, and frankly, the reality of being beautifully human.

That early optimism crashes into the reality that being good means getting uncomfortable—on purpose. It’s earned. It’s messy. It’s maddening.

And it rarely goes as fast as you’d like.

Every ‘successful’ person was once a beginner battling doubt, discomfort, and discouragement. The hard part is the significant part. And if you can stay there—showing up, staying curious, and being grateful for the tiny wins—it slowly stops being simply hard and starts becoming yours. It’s humbling, yes, but also wildly fun and fulfilling.

Getting good at anything reveals not just how much you have to learn—but also how capable, resilient, and courageous you are when you keep going anyway. Each day.

Being willing to be bad at something—so that you can get good at something—is what makes for an outrageously wonderful life.

What are some reasons you’re not losing as much weight as you expected?

• You’re losing without realizing it.

It is incredibly common for the scale not to budge for a few days (or weeks) at a time. This doesn’t mean that you are not losing fat. You can gain muscle and lose fat at the same time, particularly if you have recently started exercising and are eating a high-protein diet. Instead of relying solely on the scale, it’s better to measure your waist circumference and body fat once a month.

• You’re eating too much.

Many people are simply eating too many calories. Keeping a food diary can help you become aware of how much food you’re eating and the content. For example, protein is an important nutrient for losing weight and can help you feel fuller for longer, while eating too much processed foods can cause you to gain weight.

• You’re not exercising enough.

Getting regular exercise can help you lose weight. Cardio and resistance training, such as weightlifting and Pilates, have been shown to be effective in helping with weight loss. That said, exercise alone is less effective in promoting weight loss unless combined with the right dietary approach.

• You’re still drinking sugar.

Sugary beverages are fattening! This isn’t only true of soda. It also applies to “healthier” beverages like Vitaminwater and fruit juices.

• You’re not sleeping well.

Good sleep is one of the most principal factors for your physical and mental health and weight. Poor sleep is one of the biggest risk factors for obesity. Studies show that not getting enough sleep and too much sleep are both associated with obesity.

• You eat too often.

It is a myth that everyone should eat many small meals daily to boost their metabolism and lose weight. Studies show that meal frequency has little or no effect on weight loss.

On the other hand, intermittent fasting, which involves deliberately and strategically going without food for extended periods.

• You’re not drinking water.

Staying hydrated with water can help boost your metabolism.

• You’re drinking too much alcohol.

Drinking alcohol can negatively affect your appetite, making you hungrier. It  

It may be best to stick to spirits (like vodka) mixed with a zero-calorie beverage. Beer, wine, and sugary beverages are extremely high in calories.

• You have a medical condition that is making things harder.

Some medical conditions can drive weight gain and make it much harder to lose weight, and certain medications can also make weight loss harder or cause weight gain. If you think these apply, speak with your doctor about your options.

• Your expectations are unrealistic.

Weight loss is generally a slow process. Many people lose patience before reaching their goals, and more importantly, not everyone will be able to look like a fitness model or beautiful athlete, and that’s okay. Really, okay!

What are your two choices each day?

You can be happy or incredibly happy. Which will it be?

What does the phrase: “be an every day person” mean?

I love the phrase from the college basketball coach Buzz Williams, be an every-day guy. “You have to be Every Day,” he says. “There’s no, ‘We’ll do it tomorrow.’ No. We’re doing it today—you have got to do it every day. And if you can’t do it every day, then you’re going to struggle because it is every day. I try to be an every day writer. An every day runner. An every day kind, courageous, and happy person.

What are the most addicting foods?

• Pizza – That magical trifecta of melty cheese, chewy crust, and salty sauce? Game over.
• Chips (especially potato) – Crunchy, salty, and engineered for mindless hand-to-mouth loops.
• Chocolate – Sweet, melty, and mood-boosting.
• Cookies – Soft, crunchy, gooey. It doesn’t matter; you’re eating four.
• Ice Cream – Cold, creamy, sugar-packed bliss with zero braking system.
• French Fries – Crispy-salty on the outside, soft on the inside, and impossible to portion-control.
• Cheeseburgers – Protein, fat, salt, and that umami bomb? Total reward overload.
• Soda and other sweet drinks – Liquid sugar rush with caffeine bonuses.
• Cake – Celebratory sugar sponge that keeps calling even after you’re “full.”
• Cheese – Fatty, salty, satisfying—and often the “can’t stop” part of so many meals.

­­­­­­­Olympian Julie Isphording is the director of the Western & Southern Thanksgiving Day Race, an author, and loves to keynote speak. Her talks on living a happy life include unforgettable props, lots of laughter, and a few tears. Write to her at julie.isphording@gmail.com.